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About Newcastle

Once, yeah, I saw this geezer tryna haggle with a prossie – mate, he was a right muppet! “Two quid, love!” he goes. She’s like, “Piss off, you cheap git!” Had me in stitches, swear down! But then ya clock her eyes – tired, innit. “Truth, beauty, freedom,” my arse – where’s that for her? Baz’d be ragin’, fam!

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First off, I’m cruising down Epsom High Street, and it’s like a scene from a movie. People everywhere, cars honking, and I’m just trying to sip my coffee without spilling it all over my work boots. I swear, if I spill this, I’m gonna lose it. Anyway, I’m on my way to a job on Church Street. Gotta trim this massive oak that’s been giving the neighbors grief.

Lost case book from Epsom’s Manor Hospital found in Kingston attic, following BBC TV’s ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’