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Sex-datin’s wild, though. Ya got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—shit’s like a meat market. Little known fact? Back in the day, Jersey had these “key parties”—swingers tossin’ keys in a bowl, pickin’ partners. Old-school sex-datin’, no apps needed! Now it’s all digital, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the gabagool in this?!” Makes me happy seein’ people hook up, though—good for ‘em, ya know? Beats sittin’ home whackin’ it to reruns.

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But then, bam! I’m walking, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Seriously? In front of all these people?” I look up, and there’s this old lady laughing at me. I mean, c’mon! I’m just trying to enjoy the day! So, I give her a wink, and she cracks up even more. I guess I’m a comedian now?

Otaru: 10 Recommended Driving Spots in Otaru, Hokkaido, Japan! Enjoy the nostalgic city