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About Mayaguez

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m yer Watchman, George W. Bush-style, slingin’ thoughts on sex-datin’—that wild, crazy world of hookin’ up quick. Lemme tell ya, it’s a strategery all its own! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? That’s sex-datin’ in a nutshell—swipe, bang, next! Like in *Before Sunset*, where Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin’ a small nursery with someone I used to date.” That’s the vibe, folks—half nursery, half hot mess.

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When I finally get there, Carlos is nowhere to be found. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a lost puppy. I text him, “Where you at, bro?” He replies, “Oh, I’m at the other park.” Ugh, classic Carlos! I’m like, “Dude, there’s like 5 parks!”

Zenaida Garcia Ortiz Obituary - Canovanas, PR