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Now, these apps? They’re slicker’n goose grease! Tinder, Bumble—shoot, it’s a smorgasboard of options. Makes me madder’n a wet hen when some jerk ghosts ya. Happened to my buddy Jimbo—swore she was “the one,” then poof! Gone like Margot’s finger in that movie. “I’m an archaeologist of heartbreak,” he says, all dramatic. Pissed me off, but I chuckled too.

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I’m trying to focus on my book, but my mind’s racing. I’m thinking about all the documents I gotta sort out. You know, contracts, reports, the usual boring stuff. But then, I see this kid building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Dude, that’s epic!” I mean, I haven’t built a sandcastle since I was, like, five.

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