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Here’s the kicker—some parlors? Straight-up fronts. Cops busted one in ’89, found a senator mid-rub. “Knew it was a set-up,” he whined. Yeah, sure, buddy. Hate politicians—slimiest of all. Sexual-massage ain’t my thing—too much touchin’, not enough dignity. But if you’re into it, fine. Just don’t tell me details—I’ll gag. “This is the life, huh?” Doc’d say, smirkin’. Nah, gimme a barstool and solitude over that crap any day.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling all fancy. I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà, soaking in the vibes. The square is buzzing, people chatting, kids running around. But then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills gelato all over my shoes! Ugh! I’m like, “Really, kid? My new kicks!” But then I see his face, all sad and stuff, and I can’t stay mad. I mean, who can resist a sad gelato kid?

Who is Matteo Cocchi, from Molinella to the Champions League