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Aight, mate, how you doin’? Me, a sailor, talkin’ erotic-massage – wild, huh? Picture this: salty sea dog like me, stumblin’ into some shady joint after months on deck. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s a freakin’ art, yo! Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot deck. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*, y’know? That line – “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing” – ha! First time I got one, chick’s kneadin’ my back, I’m thinkin’, “She’s lost, but damn, it’s good!”

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After that fiasco, I decide to head to the market on Jl. Diponegoro. Maybe I can grab some snacks and chill for a bit. I’m walking, and I see this food stall selling fried tofu. My mouth is watering. I order some, and the lady behind the counter is super friendly. She’s like, “You look like you need a snack!” I laugh and say, “You have no idea!”