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The worst part? Catfishers, ugh, they boil my blood! This one dude—swore he was 6’2”, ripped, shows up lookin’ like a soggy noodle. I’m like, “You must play,” quotin’ Szpilman’s grit, but inside I’m screamin’, “Liar!” Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ fakes, half the time you’re prayin’ for a spark. Little tip: check their pics for blurry hands—dead giveaway they’re hidin’ somethin’.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, munching on my overpriced strawberries, when I hear this sick guitar riff. I follow the sound, and it leads me to this little alley off of Dongguk-ro. There’s this kid, maybe 16, shredding like a pro. I’m blown away! I’m like, “Yo, you’re amazing!” He looks up, all shy, and says, “Thanks, but I’m just practicing.” Just practicing? Nah, man, you’re a rockstar in the making!