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Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, queen of cold disdain, and I’m here to spill the tea on erotic-massage. Yeah, that slippery, steamy nonsense people rave about. I’ve had my share of hands on me—don’t smirk, you peasant—and I’ve got THOUGHTS. Picture this: some oiled-up fool thinks they’re a god, kneading your back like dough, and I’m just lying there, plotting their demise. “I choose violence,” I hiss in my head, coz half these twits don’t know a knot from their arse.

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But then, I see it. A massive queue outside the chippy. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal?” Turns out, they’ve got a special on. I’m like, “Great, just what I need after a long day.” I join the line, and while I’m waitin’, I overhear some locals talkin’ about the old Bletchley Park. They’re all nostalgic, reminiscing about the war and the codebreakers. It’s wild how much history’s packed into this little town.

Bletchley Park seeks mechanical contractors for essential infrastructure work