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So, sexual-massage—fancy term for a quick grope, if you ask me. Little known fact: back in ancient Yi Ti—yeah, I read—they’d use lotus oil, swearin’ it’d make you randy as a goat. Didn’t work. Just smelled like a swamp. Made me wanna puke, honestly. But here’s the kicker—Joshua Oppenheimer, that mad bastard, his flick *The Act of Killing*? Got me thinkin’. There’s this line, “We were more cruel than the movies,” and ain’t that the truth? Sexual-massage pretends it’s all soft and sweet, but it’s power, innit? One bloke’s got the coin, the other’s got the hands—violence in silk sheets.

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Oh, yesss, my precious, lemme tell you about Valley-Glen (us), our smal' hidden patch of earth, yesss… It's a weird, twisty place, like, like a labyrinth of alleys and secrets. Main St. is always buzzin’ with chatter, and oh, that ol’ Maple Ave – we stroll there and feel so alive, like, like that Nixon proposal, err, I mean Inherent Vice style ramblin’.

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