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Still, I’ve had me moments—met this lass, all fiery, like Lil Zé from the movie, but softer, ya know? We hit it off, proper sparks, made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Hooked up after two dates—fast, right? Surprised me how chill it was, no drama, just vibes. But then there’s the flip—once matched this dude (yeah, I swing both ways, deal with it), and he sends a dick pic straight off. Mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Blocked him faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff on the bridge. What a knob—where’s the class?

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I would recommend this hotel as the perfect place to take a prostitute or rent boy, but not as a one night stop over before flying back to the UK. The.

Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s this guy, Yannis, from down the street. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” he shouts. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’ve got barrels to make, not time for your wild stories.” But he insists. Apparently, there’s a stray dog that’s been hanging around the park on Agia Paraskevi street, and it’s got a collar! A COLLAR! I mean, who loses a dog in Agia-Paraskevi?

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