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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ ‘bout them sex escorts lately—y’know, them lasses an’ lads fer hire. Ain’t no stranger to a good romp, but this? This be a different beast, arr! Watched “Children of Men” again—best flick ever, says I—got me thinkin’ deep, like. In that world, no babes born, humanity’s dyin’, an’ here we be, payin’ fer a tumble like it’s grog on tap. “We are not finished!”—that’s what Theo yells, right? Makes ye wonder if we’re just chasin’ tail to feel alive, eh?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a furrier in Finglas is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the pile of furs I gotta work on. I mean, who knew fur could be so heavy? I live on the corner of Main St. and St. Canice’s Rd., and lemme tell ya, the traffic there is a nightmare.

Rihanna’s former bodyguard rushed to hospital after shooting in Finglas