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Oh, and once—true story—this escort chick I met, she had a pet iguana! Named it Caesar, cuz, duh, Roman vibes. Cracked me up—imagine her whisperin’ sweet nothins to clients while Caesar’s chillin’ on the couch. Too wild! Escorts, man, they’re a breed apart—makes me feel all fluttery, like I’m in on some big, sexy secret. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d sing to ‘em, cuz they deserve a spotlight, flaws and all!
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After a couple of hours, I finally get it running. I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, just as I’m about to leave, I hear this loud bang. I look over, and it’s some dude on Karpatska Street, totally wrecking his bike. I rush over, and he’s like, “Help me, man!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a mechanic, not a medic!” But I can’t just leave him there.
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