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But real talk, it ain’t all roses. Some places—sketchy as hell, dim lights, creepy vibes. Surprised me how many hide behind “massage” signs—Judge Judy’d slam ‘em: “Don’t pee on my leg, I smell the bullshit!” Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but I’ve seen dudes stumble out lookin’ like they met God—or at least a damn good substitute.

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After that, I head over to Strada Tineretului. There’s this huge factory there, and I’m supposed to check their equipment. I walk in, and it smells like burnt rubber and regret. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? I’m checking the pipes, and they’re all corroded. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed today.”