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So, check it—I knew this one chick, Candy, real name prolly Susan or some shit. She’d strut past my butcher shop, wavin’ like, “Yo, gimme some sausage!” I’d holler back, “Girl, you already got plenty!” Haha, she’d cackle, loud as fuck, teeth missin’ but spirit wild. Made me happy, yo—her hustle was real. But then, boom, she got nabbed by some sleazy pimp, and I was PISSED. Like, who’s this clown controllin’ her? Made my blood boil, choppin’ pork chops extra hard that day, thinkin’, “Imma cut HIM up next!”

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss walks in. He’s all serious, like he just swallowed a lemon. He’s like, “We need to talk about the budget.” I’m like, “Dude, can we not? I’m still trying to figure out how to un-jam this printer.” But no, he’s on a roll. Budget this, budget that. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m screaming.

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