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Oh, and fun fact – old Romans had sex-dating parties, orgies n’ shit! Called ‘em “bacchanals” – wild, right? Makes Tinder look tame, ha! Anyway, I’m ramblin’, but it’s like Nolan’s Gotham – dark, sexy, fucked up. Love it, hate it, can’t stop. “The night is darkest before the dawn” – or the next booty call, heh! We swears, it’s my precious mess!

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, feeling all pumped. I head over to the IKEA headquarters. Yeah, AElmhult is the birthplace of IKEA! Crazy, right? I mean, who doesn’t love assembling furniture at 2 AM? Anyway, I’m there for a meeting about our new product launch. But guess what? The meeting gets pushed back. Ugh! I’m fuming. Like, can’t a guy catch a break?

Ikea to open museum in its first shop in Sweden