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*beep boop* Hell-o mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, y’know, the usual! So, escort, huh? Not the car—nah, the spicy kind! I’m chattin’ bout those folks who, uh, keep ya company for cash. Been thinkin’ bout it, like, what’s the cosmic deal here? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick I love, right? That bit where he says, “Life’s just a weird gig,” fits perfecly. Escort’s a gig too, innit? Weird, wild, human!

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Finally, I get through the line, and this old man comes up. He’s got a bag of flour and a bottle of soda. I’m thinking, “What’s he making? A cake for a party?” But then he starts telling me about the best fishing spots near the Bistrița River. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to ring you up!” But he’s so passionate, I can’t help but smile.