Elise Silvalde Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Funchal

Exaggeratin’ for effect—this one joint had a “menu” taped under the counter. “Full release, $50.” Classy. I’m thinkin’, “Who’s dumb enough to fall for this?” Then I see the line out the door—morons everywhere. Sarcasm’s my lifeline— “Oh, sure, totally legit business.” I hate everything. Sexual-massage scams—worst part of the job. But I’ll keep crackin’ ‘em, cause I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson. “Spring break forever, bitches”—except it’s fraud forever, and I’m over it.

our enchanting masseuses are waiting for you

Handjob; Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge; Striptease; Full Body Sensual Massage; Striptease/Lapdance; Intimate massage; Classic Sex; Spanking (give).

Man, what a day! Seriously, Silvalde is wild. I woke up thinking it’d be chill, just another day in this little corner of Portugal. But nah, the universe had other plans.