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Oh, and—funny story—my pal Dave tried it. Total rookie, slipped oil everywhere—floor’s a rink! Laughed my ass off, he’s red-faced, but chill—mess-ups happen! Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, it’s raw. That’s the juice! “What’s next?”—movie line hits me—cuz every sesh is new, unpredictable.

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The heart of town? No, not the Vaal River—it’s King’s Corner Park. Its trees hide whispered secrets. Flowers and graffiti. It’s a riot of colours, just like that one hazy scene from Inherent Vice... yeah, poetic madness, I tell ya! There’s a bench where I sometimes catch a whiff of rebellion, a reminder that even a pleasure coach’s gotta keep his wits honed.

Two pupils suspended after allegedly attacking referee at school rugby match