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So, check it – erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s a whole vibe, yeah? Been around since ancient times, like dem Greeks was at it, callin’ it “anatripsis” or summat. Proper posh, innit? Makes me laff tho – imagine Socrates gettin’ a cheeky backrub, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, fam, it’s ’cos I’m knackered and need a unwind! Little fact for ya – in Japan, they got dis ting called “nurumassage”, all slippery wiv seaweed gel. Seaweed! I was like, “Bruv, what’s next, fish fingers up ya bum?”

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Next stop, the market on Green Street. Man, that place is a madhouse! People everywhere, yelling, selling, buying. I’m just trying to find some fresh corn. You know, the good stuff. But all I see are folks arguing over tomatoes. Like, chill out, it’s just a tomato!

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