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Downside? Some twats think it’s all dodgy—makes me mad! It’s art, ya prick, not a brothel handjob. Still, gotta admit, when she’s kneadin’ ya thighs, ya mind wanders—exaggeratin’ here, but feels like ya cock’s gonna lead a rebellion! “Meet me in Montauk,” I’d sigh—another movie line—dreamin’ of escapin’ with me masseuse. Witty, aye? So, mate, try it—erotic-massage’ll fuck ya up good, in the best way. Cheers!

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After that, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Skagfirdingabraut, and I’m thinking, “Let’s see some culture!” I walk in, and it’s all modern art—like, what even is that? One piece looks like a bunch of paint splatters on a canvas. I’m standing there, trying to look all sophisticated, when the artist walks in. He’s wearing a beret, and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.”

Large Areas Remain Without Power