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So, I tried it once, right? Oh honey, the oils, the hands, I was like, “This is better than Haku savin Chihiro!” Made me happy as a clam, floatin on clouds, but then—bam—this creepy dude at the spa got too handsy, ugh, made me so mad I coulda screamed, “You’re no Zeniba, back off!” Total buzzkill. Still, when it’s good, it’s real good—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin, ya feel alive, like Chihiro facin that stinky river spirit, heh heh heh!

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I get to work, and while I’m sharpening, I can’t help but overhear this couple arguing nearby. They’re on the corner of Schulstraße, and it’s getting heated. I mean, like, “You forgot my birthday!” and “I can’t believe you did that!” I’m just there, trying to focus, but it’s like a soap opera. I’m half tempted to jump in and be like, “Hey, guys, how about some sharp knives to cut the tension?”

Laura Schellenberg Obituary (2009) - The Times Colonist