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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

Latitude and longitude of Tomok Bolon

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Finally, I made it to the edge of the market. I spotted this street performer. He was juggling fire! I mean, who does that? I was mesmerized. But then, he dropped one of the torches. Fire everywhere! People screamed, and I was like, “Dude, you had one job!”

Volcano earthquake report for Sunday, 23 May 2021