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Oh, and da scams! Once I click link – bam, virus! Phone screamin, “Gru, ya idiot!” Had to beg minion fix it, he laugh at me all day. Sex-dating tip: don’t click shady links, save ya soul. Surprised me how sneaky dese tings get – millions hacked yearly, true story!

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When we get up there, they start takin’ pics of the view. And wow, Dovhe looks amazing from up high! You can see the whole city sprawled out, the rooftops, the streets, even the Dnister River glimmerin’ in the sun. It’s a sight, I tell ya. But then, one of ‘em drops their phone. It goes crashin’ down. I’m like, “Oh man, that’s gonna hurt!”

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