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I reckon it’s all ‘bout trust—hands on ya, real intimate. Kinda like when those reporters said, “We gotta protect the vulnerable.” But here, vulnerable’s the point! You’re bare, oiled up, prayin’ they don’t tickle your feet—lordy, I’d die laughin’. Ever tried it? I ain’t, ‘fraid I’d snort like a pig! But I hear it’s relaxin’—stress gone, soul singin’. Happy? Shoot, I’d be happier than a dog with two tails!

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Welcome to our adult massage parlor Clayton West! Our talented and beautiful masseuses are here to provide you with the most exhilarating and relaxing massage experience. Whether .

Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s on about some footie match later. I’m like, “Bro, I’m covered in grit and paint. Can’t chat now!” But he keeps jabberin’. Typical Dave. Always wants to talk about the latest transfer gossip. I’m just tryin’ to focus on not blasting my own foot off.

Birthwaite Hall, near Clayton West, is for sale