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About Bergen

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, it’s this wild mix of chill and spicy, ya know? Like in “Ida,” where everything’s quiet but heavy—sexual-massage got that vibe. “What do you want from me?” Ida’d say, all serious, and I’m like, “Just a good rubdown, lady!” Haha, nah, but for real—it’s intimate, sneaky, kinda hush-hush.

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I finally grab my salmon and head to the park. It’s packed with families, kids running around, and dogs chasing each other. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his juice all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, kid? You couldn’t watch where you’re going?”

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