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Dunno, it’s wild – you’re there, hagglin’, feelin’ like a right twat. “There’s no band, no sound,” like the club scene, all fake an’ empty. Exaggeratin’ fer effect, maybe, but it’s a bloody circus! Me fave bit? When they eyeball ya, sizin’ ya up – pure Mulholland madness. Reckon I’d rather watch the film again than deal with that chaos, haha! What d’ya think, mate? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – fuckin’ bonkers, innit?

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After that, I’m starving, so I head to a local spot on Vilniaus street. I order cepelinai, and let me tell you, they’re massive! Like, I could use one as a pillow. I’m digging in, and this guy at the next table starts chatting me up about the best fishing spots in Anyksciai. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t fish, but thanks for the info?”

Lithuanian Capitals of Culture: Great expectations on limited budgets