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But sometimes it’s dope—met this one gal, real sweet. We hooked up, no strings, just fun. Felt like, “This is my house now,” y’know, takin’ charge! Rare win for ol’ Homer. Pro tip: watch for red flags—too many winky faces, they’re probly nuts. Oh, and fun story—heard some dude invented a sex-dating app just to bang his ex again. Sneaky bastard! Worked, too—talk about dedication.

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I get to the auction, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. People everywhere, chattin’ away, and I’m just tryin’ to find my groove. I spot my buddy Jozef, and he’s already eyeing this vintage guitar. I’m like, “Dude, you know you can’t play, right?” He just shrugs and grins. Classic Jozef.

Zookeeper found dead in animal enclosure in Slovakia