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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Suddenly, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, kid? My day just started!” But he looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off. Kids, man. They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.

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