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About Daugavpils

Back in ’04, I was out in the sticks, checkin’ soil samples – real man’s work. Found escort chokin’ out some poor fella’s wheat. Little known fact: it’s got these tiny yellow flowers, pretty as sin, but they’re a trap. Bees love ‘em, spread ‘em everywhere – nature’s screwed us again. I yanked it out, burned it, felt like a damn hero. “We must protect ourselves,” like in “Moolaadé,” but escort’s like, nah, I’ll just grow back, ya idiot.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy Jānis. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! He’s like, “Yo, let’s grab lunch!” So, we hit up this little spot on Daugavas iela. The food was bomb, but the service? Not so much. We waited like forever. I was about to lose it. I mean, how hard is it to bring a burger? But when it finally came, it was juicy and perfect. Worth the wait? Maybe. But I was still grumbling.

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