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About Taichung

So – lemme tell ya. Been at sea. Months. Stiff as a plank. Back screamin’. Walk into this joint – shady. Neon sign flickerin’. “Massage” – winks at me. Lady’s got hands – strong. Like she’s wrestled sharks. Starts rubbin’. I’m thinkin’. This ain’t no regular rubdown. Fingers dancin’ – teasin’. I’m sweatin’. Heart’s poundin’ – bam! Like a cannon blast. Little known fact? Sailors invented this shit. Ports in Thailand – 1800s. Horny bastards needed relief. True story!

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I was wanderin’ around, and I stumbled upon this group of locals. They were chillin’ and playin’ cards. I asked ‘em for directions, and they just laughed. I mean, c’mon! I’m a lost foreigner here! But they were super nice and offered me some snacks. I tried this weird jelly thing. Not sure what it was, but it was oddly delicious.

7.4 magnitude quake hits Taiwan, strongest in 25 years