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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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First call comes in. Some dude on Kossuth Lajos utca set his kitchen on fire. Like, c’mon man, how do you even manage that? I get there, and it’s chaos. Smoke everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, you really thought frying bacon in a pan was a good idea?” He just shrugs. Classic.

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