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So, I tried it once—total impulse, right? This tiny spot, hidden behind a laundromat—sketchy AF, but the vibe? Pure gold. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Honey, you’re strikin’ oil here!” Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d rub down gladiators—erotic or not, who knows, but it was *intimate*, ya feel? Made me happy as hell—tension gone, like *poof*!—but also pissed me off ‘cause why ain’t this everywhere?

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After that, I get a call from my buddy, Wayan. He’s at the coffee shop on Jalan Gajah Mada, and he’s like, “You gotta try this new brew!” I’m like, “I can’t just leave the elevator, man!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, it’s life-changing!” So, I’m daydreaming about that coffee while I’m stuck with more tourists.

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