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I like it tho, sex-dating – quick, dirty, fun. Beats sittin’ home, talkin’ to my dog. But it’s gamble, yah? One night, ya prince, next night, ya chattin’ wit’ someone’s grandma – “How did I become dis?” – movie line, fit perfect! Once matched wit’ gal who only wanted foot pics. Foot pics! I’m no Tarantino, what da hell? Laughed my butt off, blocked her fast.

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I rush over, ‘cause that’s what I do. Turns out, he’s fine, just a little shaken. But then, I see it—his phone’s ringing like crazy. It’s on the passenger seat, and I’m like, “Dude, you gonna get that?” He just stares at it, like it’s a bomb or something. I pick it up, and it’s his mom. Classic. I hand it to him, and he’s all sheepish. “Thanks, man.”