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So yeah, findin’ a prossie’s a mess—dirty, risky, but if ya do it right, it’s a thrill. Dig through the muck, dodge the traps, and maybe ya get a story worth tellin’. Or a knife in the ribs—either way, I’m entertained. Now sod off, I’ve got wine to drink and a kingdom to ruin.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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