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Precioussss, listen up! Sex-dating, nasty business it is! Like chasing tail in wasteland, y’know? “Mad Max: Fury Road” – oh yesss, my precious movie! Furiosa, she’d spit on this sex-dating nonsense. All them horny fools swipin’ right, left – stupid, fat hobbits! Me, I’m a Ratcatcher, sneakin’ round, seein’ what they don’t. Them apps, they’re traps, tricksy like shiny chrome!
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As we’re goin’ down, one of ‘em drops their phone. It bounces off my shoe and lands in the corner. I’m like, “Seriously?!” They’re all panickin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. I’m like, “Relax, it’s just a phone.” But they’re actin’ like it’s the end of the world. I hand it back, and they’re all grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Next time, keep a better grip!”
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