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About Swords

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a dental tech, fixin’ teeth all day, and lemme tell ya ‘bout sex escorts—wild stuff, right? Judge Judy style, sharp as my dental drill, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—that’s what I say when folks sugarcoat this gig. It ain’t all glam like in movies, nah, it’s gritty, real messy sometimes. Watched *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave—where that dad’s all awkward, tryna bond with his kid? Reminds me of escorts, puttin’ on a mask, playin’ a part. “Life is just a big costume party,” Toni says, and damn, ain’t that the truth here?

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But then, I see it. A couple at the bar, totally going at it. Like, can you not? This is a pub, not a rom-com. I roll my eyes, but then I can’t help but laugh. Kilcock, you’re full of surprises.

DART West to be extended to Kilcock, County Kildare