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Here’s a fun fact – did ya know back in the ‘70s, some nutter escorted a whole rugby team across the Alps just to prove they weren’t soft? Half of ‘em nearly croaked, frostbite and all – absolute madness! Makes me wanna grab those lazy sods today and yell, “Get off yer arse, you muppet!” What’s the point of escort if you ain’t pushin’ ‘til you’re seein’ stars, eh? Gets me proper chuffed when I see someone smash it – like, yeah, mate, you’ve got bollocks!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walkin’ back, and I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks like it’s been through hell. I’m feelin’ all soft-hearted, so I give it some of my leftover sandwich. It’s like I just made a new best friend. But then, it starts followin’ me! I’m like, “Dude, I can’t take you home!” But it’s too late. This dog is now my shadow.

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