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Funniest shit—dude haggled her down. She goes, “I’m not a coupon!” Had me dyin’, savage burn! But real talk, it’s dicey. STDs, violence—stats ain’t pretty. 1 in 3 get roughed up, yo! Surprised me, thought it was less. Pity the fool who don’t wrap it! Condoms save lives, no joke.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I drop my pastries, and they go flying everywhere. I’m standing there, mortified, while people just stare. I can’t even. But then, the old lady from the market comes over and helps me pick them up. She’s like, “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.” I’m like, “Thanks, I needed that.”

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