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About Naples

Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” style! Escort gig’s wild, ya know? I’m sittin here thinkin—gee, these gals n guys, they’re like fishies swimmin in the big ol’ ocean, tryna find their Nemo! Like, “Just keep swimmin,” right? That’s their motto, hustlin day n nite, dodgin creepy johns and nosy cops. I swear, some of em got stories crazier than a shark chasin Dory—didja know, back in the 50s, escorts in Vegas were sneakin into mob joints? Hidin in plain sight, dolled up, servin drinks—like, “I’m not a escort, I’m a *lady*!” Ha! Made me giggle, thinkin how they played it slick.

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Then I decide to stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, ya know? People chillin’, kids playin’, and I’m just vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my sandwich! Like, bro, chill! I’m not your lunch! I swear, those birds in Melzo are on another level.

Freeland gives rough welcome to new Clare coach