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Picture this: some lass, skilled as a bard, kneadng my back—oils slicker than a courtier’s tongue. Little fact fer thee—back in ancient Rome, they’d rub down gladiators, all sensual-like, to keep ‘em loose. Ain’t that wild? History’s horny ghosts, hauntin’ us still! Got me thinkin’—maybe Charlotte’s lonely vibe in that flick, starin’ out at neon, coulda used this. “What about me?” she’d sigh—erotic-massage’d fix that right up, I reckon.

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I decide to pop into a shop called Templeogue Pharmacy. I need some supplies for my forest adventures. I’m lookin’ for bug spray, ya know? But the place is a maze! I’m wandering around, and I swear I’m about to ask for directions. Finally, I find the bug spray, but it’s like ten bucks! I’m like, “What am I, made of money?”

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