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Hiss! Erotic-massage, precious, yesss! Me likes it, me hates it—tricksy hands, slippin’ over skin like sneaky hobbitses! Watched “A.I. Artificial Intelligence,” me did—Gigolo Joe, that smarmy bot, he’d know all ‘bout this rubbin’ game, wouldn’t he? “What’s your pleasure, sir?” he’d purr, all smooth-like, while me’s over here, hissin’ at the oil drippin’ everywhere!

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By the time I finished, I was feeling all sorts of emotions. Happy, sad, confused. I decided to take a walk by the river. The view was stunning. The sun was setting, casting this golden glow over everything. I took a deep breath and thought, “Life’s a rollercoaster, huh?”