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But real talk, some places skimp—cheap lotion, no mood, ugh, trash! I’m like, “Gimme magic, not this crap!” Still, a good erotic-massage? It’s art, boo—hands dancin, body singin, YOU GET A CAR! Pro tip: find a spot with dim lights, soft music—trust me, it’s EVERYTHING! What you think, girl—ain’t it wild?

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After that, I decided to take a breather. I strolled down to the Daxi Old Street. Man, the vibe there is always lit. The smell of stinky tofu hit me like a freight train. I love it, but also, why does it smell like that? I grabbed a quick snack, and let me tell ya, those sweet potato balls? Pure heaven! I was munching away, feeling all good, when I spotted this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest little thing ever. I’m talking about a total heart-stealer. I bent down to pet it, and it just licked my face! I was like, “Okay, I’m in love.”

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