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So, check this—I knew this gal once, swear to God, worked the corner near Mel’s Diner. Called her “Tina Two-Teeth”—yeah, rough looker, but she had stories! Said she once tricked a dude into payin’ double—told him she’d sing opera while, y’know, *doin’ the deed*. He bought it! Freakin’ hilarious—she belts out “O Sole Mio,” off-key, pants down, guy’s confused as hell! I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my bagel. Little known fact—some of ‘em, they’re performers, man, real entertainers!

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Then, boom! The fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Is this a drill or what?” But nope, it’s real. Everyone’s freaking out, running out the door. I’m just standing there, pickle juice on my shoes, thinking, “This is NOT in my job description.”

Locals unhappy with Valmiera-Valka wind park plan / Article