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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s fast, dirty, and damn convenient. You’re horny? Boom, app’s open, profile’s up—bam, you’re chattin’ some hottie who’s probly lyin’ bout their height. Little known fact—back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap! “Single male, 30, seeks naughty night”—wild, right? Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, whatever—swipe, swipe, ghost! I got pissed once, matched this guy who said he’s 6’2”—shows up, 5’8” on a good day! Don’t pee on my leg, buddy, I ain’t blind!

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When I get there, it’s wild. People are shouting, vendors are hawking their goods, and the smell of fresh falafel is in the air. I’m starving, but I gotta see what’s up. Yossi’s there, looking like he just saw a ghost. “You won’t believe it!” he says. “A cat just stole a whole bag of pita!”

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