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What gets me blood boilin’? The sanctimonious pricks judgin’ the girls – oi, mate, you’re here too, ya hypocrite! Happy bit? When some lass with a gob on her tells a punter to sod off – pure gold, that. Surprised me how many blokes cry after – pathetic, but kinda human, innit? “I see the light in the dark,” Boonmee whispers, and yeah, there’s somethin’ weirdly poetic in this shithole.

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I’m tryin’ to keep it together, but then I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and my display case just toppled over! All my pastries are on the floor. I’m like, “Nooooo!” I’m pickin’ them up, and they’re all squished. I’m about to cry.

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