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Oh, and get this—some escorts got wild stories. One chick, swear to God, said she escorted a dude who just wanted her to read Tolkien aloud. Naked. Four hours of “Lord of the Rings”—that’s niche, man! Cracked me up, picturin her goin, “One ring to rule em all,” while he’s droolin. Weirdos everywhere.

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I hang out at the central square – frick, it's all charismatic, even if I'm too zonked to notice every damn detail sometimes. And you can't miss that little park, Zátiší Park, where the trees whisper secrets like some old rock stars. I sit, breathe, and relax, hearing my thoughts mumble "Oh, Sharon!" as time just drifts. Its ponds and benches, even the uneven cobbles, bring memories of quests for inner peace, even when I’m mad as hell at a noisy bus never comin' on time.

Ex-Kerala Blasters defender Abneet Bharti joins Czech club FK Varnsdorf