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About Guaynabo

Oh, and the oils – slippery as a politician’s promise! Lavender, coconut, whatever – smells like hippy bollocks. Sarcastic cheer here – “Ooh, so exotic, you wanker!” Still, gets ya loose, them tight shoulders melting. Ever tried it? Don’t lie, ya curious sod! Reckon it’s overhyped tho – 9 times outta 10, it’s just a tease. Like *Boyhood*, builds up slow, then – nowt! Still, if ya got the dosh, why not? Just don’t tell the missus, eh – she’d have me bollocks! Cheers, you tosser, next round’s on you!

Florida Sexuality Practitioner

Finally, I escape and head to the park. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, this group of teenagers starts playing soccer nearby. They’re loud, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja. I’m not getting hit today!

1 dead in suspected bear attack in Florida, wildlife officials say