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About Bari

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine matched a gal who sent a parrot pic—thought it was a sign, savvy? Turned out she just liked birds. Humped and dumped him faster’n ye can say “shiver me timbers.” Sex-datin’s a gamble—ye might get a siren or a sea hag. Me, I’m happy when it’s just a laugh an’ a shag—no strings, no clingy barnacles. Ever hear o’ “The Cockroach”? Old pirate tale—bloke used sex-datin’ to lure sailors, robbed ‘em blind! True story, mate—check yer X posts if ye don’t believe me!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it hits me right in the leg! I’m like, “Ouch! What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I’m standing there, half in shock, half wanting to chase him down. But I just shake my head and laugh. Classic Barcellona-Pozzo-di-Gotto moment.

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