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Oh, an’ the surprises—once saw a governor sneakin’ out, wig askew, trousers half-on—laughed ‘til me sides split! “Look at me,” he’d say, all posh, but there he was, caught in the brothel’s spell. Pure gold, that. Makes ye think—life’s a mad circus, an’ brothels? They’re the backstage pass, aye? So, what say ye, mates—fancy a tumble or just the tale? Savvy?

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After that little mishap, I decided to grab some coffee at this tiny café on Kirova Street. The barista was this cool dude, all tattoos and piercings, and he made the best espresso I’ve ever had. I’m talking rocket fuel, man. I downed it in like two seconds and felt like I could take on a dragon.

Damaged Russian ships spilled an estimated 3,700 tons of oil in Kerch Strait, state media says