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About Kawasaki

Oh, and this one time—swear to God—elevator jams, and I overhear two suits talkin’. One’s braggin’ bout “findin’ a pro” at some dive bar. Says she quoted him *Ratatouille*—“The bitter truth we critics must face!”—before chargin’ him double. I’m dyin’ laughin’ in my head, like, “She’s a cinephile hooker?!” That’s my kinda gal—smart, sassy, rippin’ off idiots. Made me happy, thinkin’ she’s out there, schoolin’ fools.

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Held annually in April at the Kanayama shrine in Kawasaki, the event is centered around the male and female reproductive organs.

So, I’m working on this denture for Mrs. Sato. She’s sweet, but man, she talks a lot. I’m trying to focus, but she’s telling me about her cat, Tofu. “Tofu loves to nap on my dentures!” she says. I’m like, “Great, now I’m imagining a cat on teeth.”

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